There Are Some Experiences You Never Forget
There are some experiences you
never forget: riding a bike for the first time without the training wheels,
buying your first car, that first kiss, and a bit later in life, losing your
virginity. There's one more first that some adults find themselves adding to
that list with much regret: their first attack of gout. As Shirley Einstein* of
Skokie, Illinois described it, "The first time I had gout, I dropped a quarter
on my toe with a shoe on and almost took flight. With proper treatment
(Benemid) it went away and didn't return for many years. The pain is
"One Night, I Swear To God, I Thought My Toe Was Broken."
Morton Smith of Schenectady,
New York tells a similar tale of anguish. "One night, I swear to God, I thought
my toe was broken. But I couldn't figure it out. I was just sleeping in bed. It
just didn't make any sense. I wanted to go to the emergency room but the pain
was so bad I knew I couldn't drive. Besides, the snow was knee-deep and there
was no way in hell I was going to try to put on my boot."
Trenton, New Jersey resident Marnie Castleton, describes her
first time, "My oldest daughter, was getting married the next day and after a
very hectic day of final fittings, and then the rehearsal dinner, I finally
collapsed for the night. Not two hours later I woke up in extreme agony.
"I'll Never Be Able To Wear Those $450.00
I looked at my toe and it was huge. I thought I'd gotten
stung by something, because I didn't remember stubbing it or anything like
that. My second thought was, 'Damn! I'll never be able to wear those $450.00
Prada pumps.' I was crying and rocking myself in the bed."
Ben McKinley of Coeur d'Alene, Idaho also had wedding woes,
"I was supposed to get married the very next day to the most wonderful girl in
the world but I woke up that night and thought I was dying. I ended up sending
relatives chasing all over town looking for a 'dressy' pair of slip-on
slippers, well, actually, two pairs of slippers in two different sizes, because
I needed a bigger slipper for the right foot, the one with gout, just so I
could limp down the aisle."
These gout sufferers have learned an unfortunate truth: Gout
is an equal opportunity disease. Gout respects no family occasion. It can
strike anyone, at any time.
* Names have been changed.